Monday, June 22, 2009

I have been lost...sorry

Sorry it has been a long time since I have completed a blog. I have been busy with work, getting myself hurt, and trying to get over some personal emotional pains.

Just doing a little update for you all out there who thought I must have been abducted by aliens. As of today I have lost a grand total of (drum roll please.....) 83 pounds. I am feeling great and looking great. It is so nice to have people who haven't seen me in a while say to me, "WOW Katey you look great!" It just really boosts my confidence and my self esteem. I am really starting to feel better about myself. I don't make fun of myself and I don't put myself down as much as I did before. I always thought that if I made a joke about my weight before someone else did I more or less beat them to the punch. I thought it would not hurt as much if I did it myself. But what I didn't realize it that I started to believe what I was saying. Which all in all is worse than having someone else make fun of you.

But now that I am down to 321 pounds and so close to being under 300 pounds, which by the way, I have not been under since I was 17. I am noticing things that are helping my mental image of myself. I notice that my legs are not as ghastly as they used to be. They are looking a little slimmer and not as bumpy. (Yeah, a great mental image for you.) My face is the huge improvement. I smile a lot more. I look good when I smile. Here is a pic of my husband and I at Kelley's Island a couple of weekends ago. I had my hair back in cute little pigtails.

I like having my picture taken now, and I take my own picture all the time now.

But back to back in May I went for a walk after I got home from a stressful day at work and I went by myself. I didn't wait for my husband and I wore my new Teva sandals. So here are my 2 mistakes...not waiting for my husband to go with me and wearing sandals. So after a good 20 minutes of huffing and puffing and jamming to music, I turn the last corner near my house and I started to slow picture this....I am walking on the sidewalk and right next to the sidewalk are these huge shrubs and one the of the shrubs has a limb that is hanging in my way so as I come up on the hanging limb, I grab the limb to move it out of my way and casually step into the grass and didn't realize that it was soggy muddy grass and slip and fall down. Now when I fell down I didn't just fall..I fell down on my knee on the raised corner edge of the broken sidewalk. So now I am trying to turn over and I am lying in a puddle of soggy muddy grass. I am more worried about my cell phone than I am my throbbing knee. As I turn over like a under cooked egg (all floopy and falling apart since I was crying), the owner of the house comes out and asks my if I am okay. I tell him, "nooooooo I am not okay. I think I sprained my knee." Then he askes me if I need help up. I laugh and tell him I didn't think that he was going to be able to help me. Then he tells me he is going to bring the car around. All I could think of was that he was going to try to pull me up with his car. I didn't want to embarass myself anymore than I already had. So by the grace of God, I got up on my good knee and just raised. I actually think that God was there and he put his hands under my arms and pulled me up. So now I am jumping home on one leg and my back side is soaked wet with mud and grass. I have grass in my mud soaked hair and I have dirt streaked on my face mixed equally with my tears. As I reach my house and went through the door, I totally let my sobs go. I forgot I had stairs. My husband must have heard me crying cause the next thing I knew, he threw open the door and asked, "what happened to you?" I just cried harder. I just put my head on his stomach and cried like a little girl. He helped me up the stairs and helped me strip my clothes off and then he helped me to the recliner so I could sit down. He saw my knee and said, "Holy Shit!" I looked down and I had blood oozing down my right leg and a huge gash in my knee right on my knee cap. So off to the ER I go. After getting stitches near the bone, I have to get 3 stitches to hold the skin together. I was on crutches for 4 days and then was just limping around for a month. It is now healed up and I am walking fine. Thank God.

Update on "Bucket List" ~ I can now sit in booths are resturants with no problem. I actually have plenty of room between the table and my belly. I am so excited. Now when my husband and I go out to eat we always sit in a booth. Loviiiin it!

So I am going to try to do updates more often. So stay tuned.