I had to pee. I had to pee so bad I thought I was going to burst. So off to the bathroom I ran. So as I am sitting on the throne, I start to examine my body. I examine my body all the time now. I look to see where this roll is going and how far I think it can stretch, and usually am amazed at how much my skin can now stretch. But anyway back to the original story. So I take a quick look at my belly button to see how well my incision is healing and low and behold it looks disgusting. The doctors didn't put stitches in it, they glued it shut. And now the glue is not holding anymore and it looks all red and puffy. So I pull the rest of the glue off (and there wasn't much to begin with) and I notice that it is split open. "Just fuckin great", I think. So I have one more hour to go at work and my belly button is split wide open. "Just fuckin great", I think again. Now what the hell am I supposed to do. So I go into panic mode. I pulled my pants back up and run to the medicine cabinet at work. And thank the good Lord above, it is nicely stocked. So I pull out some cleaning wipes, some bandaids, some antibiotic ointment, some medical tape, and some gauze. I run back to the bathroom and take my pants off. I don't want to get anything on them as I am performing surgery on myself and I needed the flexability to be able to move without contriction. So there I am standing in the bathroom at work..no pants...no panties...butt ass naked. Nice picture huh? I get myself all cleaned and bandaged up and put my clothes back on and start to leave the bathroom and guess what?!....In my intense rush to fix my belly button, I totally forgot to lock the freakin bathroom door. WHAT THE HELL!!!!! Thank God that no one needed to use the bathroom during my "surgery", they would have had the surprise of their life. So after all that I got to thinking..."should I call the doctor...should I call my aunt the nurse....what the hell do I do now?" So I call my husband and he starts to gag on the phone with me as I am describing my belly button...he's no help. So I text my aunt the nurse and ask her what I should do. I of course have taken a picture of my split belly button and send it to her and she texts me back saying 2 words in caps...CALL DR. So that's what I did. And when his nurse called me back she told me that I did everything right and no she didn't need me to send her the picture by picture message, and if it gets bigger or gets red to go to the ER. So now here I sit at home with 6 bandaids, 1 whole packet of triple antibiotic ointment, and 2 gauze pads on my belly button. You would have thought I had got shot the way I had "bandaged" myself up. My husband laughed his ass off when he looked at it. I didn't think it was very funny.
P.S.. I won't gross you out with the picture. My husband wouldn't even look at it. He such a pussy.
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