Marilyn Monroe Wannabe!!!

This is my favorite picture. She has perky boobs and slim hips. This is what I want to look like after this is all said and done. I want to be able to have a white swimsuit on that does not cut off the circulation to my legs and when I take it off I have lines on my ass where the swimsuit was too tight. I want to be on a sandy beach with the wind blowing my hair and I want to be total carefree like she looks. One of these days I tell you. And when I do, I am gonna post my picture for all the world to see. Yeah, you'll be jealous as hell I know it.

These past couple of days I have told a few more family members and friends that I am having the surgery. And all they come back with are horror stories of friends or family members who have died or have complications still to this day. A customer actually had the balls to tell me that if I didn't go through with this surgery he would give me a free life membership to his health club. I practically laughed in his face and told him that if he was really nice he would help me get toned after I had the surgery. He said no. Damn him. Anyway, I am prepared for this surgery. I know the complications and I am taking all the precautions for the surgery. I will be in the hospital for 2 days if I am a good girl. About an hour after surgery I will have to get my ass out of bed and walk around. I will have to have injections in my stomach for two weeks after surgery for blood clots. I know that I could die from having this surgery and you know what...I am okay with that. I understand that, but I could also die from being fat. Either way I could die, but at least I know and my family will know that I have tried everything. I did Atkins (that is bullshit...you can only eat so much meat before you start moo'ing and oinking yourself), South Beach (no fucking beach included..bastards), Slimfast (I didn't get slim...fast. They need to change their name), Weight Watchers (yeah, I love to carry around a little slider when I go to the market and writing on each box of food how many "points" are in each serving, and then I have to count how many points I ate for that day...I totally suck at math and I got so pissed off at my slider at the market that I threw it down and did a little dance on it.), and I also did Optifast (expensive and what they don't tell you is that once you start eating real food again, all your weight comes back plus ummm I would say a hundred more). So now I am back to either watching what I eat (yea, watch it as it goes in my mouth) and count calories (did I mention suck at math) or having this surgery. Now I know I will still have to watch what I eat, but the great thing is I won't have to deal with a constantly hungry stomach and always feeling like I am starving. I wonder what it is like to feel full. I haven't felt full in a long time. I am so looking forward to feeling full.