I'm Back!!!

Sorry that it has been so long since I have last blogged. I have just been busy with going back to work and reading the Twilight series. I am soooo in love with Edward Cullen. If I was not a happily married woman, I would so be his stalker. I am on the third book and just addicted to them. I just cannot put them down. Here is a pic of Edward from the movie:


See, what did I tell you. He is just so dreamy. Yeah, I did say dreamy. I can't wait until the next movie is out. Each book just gets better and better. If you haven't read them yet, you must! I demand it. When you do read them, let me know how you like them.

But on to bigger and better things. Update time!!! Yes, I know you have been waiting for it. So I have been stuck in my 350's for a while and been very disappointed. I figured it would go faster, but then just yesterday I weighed in at 350 and then today I weighed myself again and I weighed in at a very cool 348. I am so happy. I was so excited and so proud of myself and I just stood there and cried. I was going to take a picture of it, but I haven't had my toenails done in a while so maybe my next goal. So now my new short term goal is 300 lbs. And I am working harder than ever to get there. But while I was stuck in the 350's I was looking for some inspiration to help me get my butt in gear and I found this picture:
Everytime I see this picture I just laugh to myself and think I came this far I can do anything. Plus the fact is that I hate Dr. Phil and believe he is devil's spawn so it makes me angry and makes me want to prove him wrong. So it works for me. Hope it makes you laugh.

Next update is that my clothes are really starting to not fit. And I am soooo loving it. I have to hold my pants up when I walk and my shirts are really looking baggy and sloppy on me. My husband even remarked to me that he wishes I would not wear my favorite sweatshirt out anymore because it is so big on me. Although it made me mad that he would say anything like that, but then it made my day that he is actually noticing also. Little milestones..gotta love em'.

My food intake is much better. I have found my favorite food is tuna and I love buying those lunch packs that come with tuna, crackers, and low fat mayo and I make a meal out of that. It's quick and easy. Plus it has great protein and it fills me up. I have been struggling with some fruit like oranges and pinapple and I really miss them. But for some reason the acid in those fruits make my pouch feel tight. On Easter I made my favorite Jell-O salad. It is lime jello with pinapple, cream cheese, and pecans. It is so yummy that I made some more for this week. I of course use sugar free lime jello and low fat cream cheese and it makes a great healthy snack full of protein from the cream cheese. YUMMY! Here is the recipe:

Katey's Lime Jell-O Salad

2 boxes of sugar free Lime Jell-O
1 can of crushed pinapple
1 cup of chopped pecans
1 box of low fat cream cheese

Make the jello-o according to box. Let set for 3 hours. In large mixing bowl put in the jell-o and the cream cheese. Mix with a mixer until creamy smooth with some chunks of cream cheese showing. Put mixture into a suitable dish and mix in pecans and pinapple and put back into refrigerator to set over night.

I eat this for breakfast, lunch, and dinner and I just love it. I hope you like it to. I am starting to experiment a little more with my food choices and still making sure that everything that I do eat is low fat, low sugar, and low carbs. I am feeling better, more healthier, and have much more energy. I am also sleeping better. My boobs are not getting in the way of my airways anymore. Not that they are disappearing (Thank You God!) but they are getting just a tit bit smaller (I even make myself laugh, ha ha ha).

So you remember that my last blog was the night before I was to return to work? And do you remember how nervous and sad that I was going back to work? Well, it wasn't so bad. I didn't realize how much my coworkers missed me and how much I was actually needed at work. It made me feel good that on my day back to work people were exclaiming how much I had changed and how good I looked. I guess I really needed that.

I am the type of person that needs attention and needs compliments. I am learning a lot about myself and I am finding that I really didn't like the person I had become when I was heavier. I was angry all the time and I was hateful towards people because of all the hatred I had towards myself. I am working on myself one day at a time and I am becoming a much happier me. I was told the other day by a customer that he can tell real beauty by someones smile and how geniune it is. He said, "you are very beautiful inside and out." I was a little taken aback, but I looked in his eyes and just smiled because I am finally feeling beautiful inside and I guess my outside is finally catching up.

~Highlights of my day~

1. Answered the phone at work today and got 3 new activations with 2 Blackberrys out of it. Rock on!
2. Waking up this morning with a smile on my face. Must have been dreaming about Edward.
3. And last but not least, weighing in at 348. Stoked!

Snow...WTF????

Mother Nature hates Ohioans. It is April 7th and we have 3 inches of snow on the ground. On Sunday, I heard that there was a chance for snow but I laughed it off. Then yesterday, some snow showers started and I still thought, "okay a fluke..it will go away. It won't stick". Boy was I wrong.

So I started to think...maybe mother nature is playing a trick on us and she is going to start reversing our seasons. So maybe next week we are going to have leaves on the ground, then we will go to summer and then spring. Or maybe we are just going to be like Alaska now and have winter all the freakin time.

am so sick and tired of the whiteness. Is it ever gonna end?????? I am gonna move to California or Florida. Oh, and hey mother nature...we hate you too.

The scene from my living room window.

Mini Epiphanies

I woke up this morning with a dreadful feeling in my stomach. I wasn't sick or having issues with my surgery. I knew that today was my last day before returning to work. I have been off work since February 20th and have pretty much enjoyed every minute of it. I had such big plans for my time off. I wanted to start writing my romance novel. I wanted to get my house in order. And I wanted to of course recover from surgery. As I thought about what I had planned, I wish I could start over. I wouldn't even mind going through the whole surgery again.

But now that the whole pity party is going on...I have started to not follow my eating guidelines. Why you ask. Well, I have noticed that I am starting to get hungry and I am sick and tired of eating pudding, jello, yogurt, and soup. I am having cravings and I don't like it one bit. And it has showed. I am stuck at 359. And I don't like it one bit.

So today I chewed my own ass and made myself a pact. I am going to start a food diary and I am finally going to start working out. I have been so lazy and have done nothing. I am ashamed. I have been given this great gift of a tool to help me lose weight and what have I done with it? Not a damn thing. I hear the pity party dying down and the whips snapping.

Well, my mother had her gastric bypass on April Fools Day and she is doing great. I am so proud of her. This past Sunday my husband and I went down to visit her and I took my "WLS book" down to compare to hers. And of course my loving husband informed my mother and mamaw (yes, I have a mamaw) that I have been a bad girl. So my mother chewed my ass and I pretty much deserved it. Although, I didn't let on that I deserved it, I pretty much acted like a child and threw a fit.

So now starting my food diary and work out diary. I made an excel file. Yep, I am a geek. And I am vowing to myself and to you that I am going to give it all I've got to enter my food and my exercise into it. It is a pretty awesome excel file. If you wish to have it or see it, send me your email address and I will email it to you. I am also starting a journal. I had a friend the other day tell me that she thinks the reason why I haven't lost more weight is because I have been so heavy for so long that I don't know how to be thinner and that my weight is like a security blanket for me. And the more I thought about what she said the more she makes sense.

How do you go from being fat to skinny? All my life I have prevented myself from doing so many things that I just marked them out of my life. So I am writing down a bucket list...which I find so funny. Bucket. Get it? (Another term for butt is bucket) I am going to make a list of things I have never been able to do because of my bucket and I am going to mark them off as I do them. (I am just having a epiphany today).

My Bucket List:
1. fit easily into a booth in a restaurant
2. sit in a stadium seat without hurting
3. be able to fit into a tiny sports car and not have to do the "lean and pull"
4. look good in a full length picture (and feel comfortable about it)
5. go to the movies and not have to move the armrest up
6. be able to go on a trip in an airplane

That is just the beginning to My Bucket List. So today is technically the last day of freedom and the first day of the rest of my life.

*Highlights of today*

~Finalizing the dairies in excel file
~Watching all day America's Next Top Model (I got sucked in)
~Updating my address book and birthday list

Just sittin' in the hospital

Okay so I will be blogging little snipets all day today. My mom is having her gastric bypass at Riverside in Columbus, OH today. So we are sitting here in the waiting room waiting for her name to be called to go back for her surgery.

I have never seen so many people in a waiting room before. I mean that there has to be at least 100 people in here. And this is a cramped waiting room. I am relieved to find a table and some chairs for all of us to sit together. My husband just asked, "I've never seen so many people before. What the hell all they all here for?" I replied, "They heard you were coming today." He gave me that look. You know that look that says you're so funny. All I can say is thank God for wifi. At least I have something to do to keep me occupied. I figure 3 hours for surgery, 1-2 hours in recovery...so I have a good 5 hours to waste. I did bring some work with me today so maybe I will work on that.

So while I'm just sitting here with my dad, my husband, my mamaw, and papaw listening to my dad tell funny jokes, I'm trying to get my dad's hair to lay down. I asked him if he combed it this morning and he said that mom told him that it looked fine. Well he looks like he just went through a wind tunnel. So I am trying furiously to make it look halfway presentable. Finally I just ask him, "do you ever look in a mirror?" His hilarious reply was, "what's that?" So funny. I don't think he shaved this morning either. Ugh what a great start to a long day.