Just another update

So here is another one of my great updates. Yeah for you for reading it. BTW..thanks to all my followers and readers, I know that you take your precious time away from your busy lives to read the crap that spills out of my head. You're great and I appreciate it.

Okay so here is the lowdown...weight loss as of yesterday, 34 lbs. Yea!!!!!! I am starting to get really proud of myself. I have noticed that my hands are getting thinner and so is my face. I fit into my jeans better and I wore my favorite white vest today and I could actually zip it and sit down with it zipped. I freakin rock! (I told my mother-in-law about it and she wanted to know if my shoe size would go down to...I wear a size 11.)

My husband and I went to the high school today to help with the choir concert (we do admissions and programs) and I was handing out programs and I noticed that if I stand for too long I get nauseous and I the cold sweats. So after handing out programs, I went and sat down in a chair by my husband for a while and got over it pretty quick. Plus the fact that my husband bought me a Powerade with some sugar in it probably helped my low blood sugar some too.

After the concert, we went back home to unload the treadmill that my mother has let me borrow. Well, Kristian (my husband) unloaded it since I can't lift anything over a gallon of milk or 5 lbs. So I sat in the truck while my loving husband unloaded the treadmill by himself in the rain. I felt bad. I really did. No seriously...I really did feel bad. But he did it. And in the process, he ripped up the front yard with the truck. Nice. Oh here's a funny story for you. While my husband and I were waiting for the concert to end to clean up, my husband mentions to me that he does not think it might be a good idea for me to run on the treadmill. HA HA HA. Like my fat ass would run on a treadmill. Let me rephrase that. Like my fat ass would run. Period. He then proceeded to tell me that he would be scared that I would fall through to the basement. I actually started laughing at him because I was picturing it. You're laughing too. Go ahead. Laugh. I give you permission. Because here is the picture I had.... I would be running on the treadmill. I would hear creaks and all of sudden....BAM WHOOSH BANG I would be in the basement. Still standing on the treadmill and I would just start running again like nothing happened. Funny I know.

But, back to serious business. I am actually excited to have a treadmill. I am too embarrassed to go outside and walk. I am a lazy walker. I want to watch tv while walking. I live in a nice and quiet neighborhood but I just have this feeling when I am out that all of our neighbors are peering out their windows at me and making fun of me. And like who really wants to see a fat girl walking on their sidewalks. I might cause an accident and I just could not live with that. Plus their is a school close by and if I should walk by a teacher may say, "Look kids, if you don't eat right you may end up like that fat lady." I just can't do it. I would rather sweat and pant in my own house while watching tv. Plus the friction between my legs when I start walking real fast might start a fire and I need to be close to a fire extingisher. I don't want to have to rely on a neighbor and his hose. I don't want to make the headlines.

So today was another big day for me. See I have been having problems getting enough food in. Yeah ironic isn't it. My daily consumption of food looks like this: 2 cups of soup, 3 sugar free popsicles, 1 cup of pudding, 8 cups of water, 2 baby spoonfuls of cottage cheese and maybe a can of slimfast for low carb diets. I am just having a hard time eating food. So today I really wanted some Wendy's chili seeing as that is the only chili that I can have. So today I had 1/2 a slimfast, 6 cups of water, 1 cup of chili (pureed...it looked like puke, but was ever so good) with cheese sprinkled on top and 2 tablespoons of cottage cheese. Yeah, I totally sucked today. I really need to start a food diary. I just hate having to figure out how much protein, calories, carbs, sugars..blah blah blah. If I could just write down what I ate and how much I ate and someone could figure out the other shit, I would be good. But I just have to suck it up and do it. Gotta put on my big girl panties and suck it up.

See my problem is that I am afraid that if I don't get enough protein in, my hair is gonna fall out. Now I have really thick hair, but I love it. I don't want it to fall out. Can you image me being all skinny and sexy and then you look at my head and I have patches of hair. Yeah, real freakin sexy. Gotta love that patchy hair skinny girl look. Seeeexxxxyyyyy.

So tomorrow is a new day. I am home again tomorrow from work and I have a list of things that I want to do. I want to get all my protein in and all my liquids in. I want to make a food list and a exercise schedule (note to self: call nurse and make sure can start exercising) and also find some basic exercises that I can start with. I have a big day ahead. But first things first. Sleep. And now I am able to sleep on my sides and stomach. Halleluiah!!!